DEALING WITH ANGER

THINGS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO ANGER
– early exposure to abuse or neglect
– over-sensitivity to shame and humiliation
– ineffective communication skills
– loss of inhibition due to drug and alcohol use

LEARNING TO THINK BEFORE YOU ACT
– use deep breathing to calm yourself down
– identify external triggers and learn how to avoid them
– identify inner warning signs and take a time out
– identify painful feelings that you may be covering up by getting angry
– check yourself for blaming or trying to control others
– practice effective communication in close relationships
– learn how to admit mistakes and make amends
– practice mindfulness and attention-shifting techniques
– use relapse prevention techniques to prevent repetitive behaviours

RESENTMENT IN CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS
– resentment involves holding others responsible for one’s frustrations and disappointments
– it may be expressed through sarcasm, cynicism or blowing up over small things
– facts are selectively chosen to to justify one’s mistakes and blame the other person
– resentment can become entrenched and lead to enduring stand-offs in relationships

DEALING WITH RESENTMENT IN CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS
– check yourself for caring more about winning arguments than co-operation and closeness
– learn to practice effective communication
– make an effort to validate your partner’s feelings
– acknowledge mistakes and make amends

SEE ALSO
– How to Get Angry a Lot
– How Not to be Angry all the Time
– How to Remain Calm with People
– How We Lie to Ourselves
– The Anger Habit in Relationships
– Anger Management for Dummies